Some Advice for the Owners of The Tower Hotel in Niagara Falls, Ontario

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It was Phoenix’s birthday, and we were going to celebrate it Niagara Falls style-casino, buffet and Yuk Yuks.

So we hopped on Safeway Tours bus, paid the $16 roundtrip for two people and reignited our monthly tradition.

We had a visual idea of what the Tower Hotel would look like thanks to the spoiler alert that is the internet. Walking into the Tower Hotel however, we didn’t quite know what to think about this bizarre accommodation.

Firstly, the structure has been poorly maintained. It is old, tired and they have given it a botched face lift by redecorating the place with bright purple, pinks and silver.

There is no warmth or energy emanating from the place, nothing coaxing the traveller in. Instead it feels cold, dated and silent.

The day receptionist was very nice and very friendly, cracking jokes and having an all around pleasant demeanour. Unfortunately she couldn’t accommodate us with our room change request as the hotel was booked out. Even though this was disappointing, it stands to reason that they cannot cater to our every whim and fancy. In fact some people had booked a whole YEAR in advance.

The night receptionist on the other hand, was as cold as a fish. You couldn’t crack a smile out of him.

For the top dollars that we paid and the four star rating it had shown online, disappointed was an understatement.

Oh well. At least the bed was comfortable.

Here are some tips to the owners of The Tower Hotel on how they can approve.

  1. Get rid of all the fake flowers sprinkled with glitter.

The decor is…interesting to say the least. It is clearly a tired old building that they spruced up with crazy colours and decorations. It can sometimes look a little boudoir-ish. Fake flower, with glittery tops. What is this, a children’s fairy party? It was tacky and distasteful. There was no glamour. Whilst this has a place at a kids party, it does not have a place in a four star hotel.

2. Get proper blinds in the bathrooms

You have to close the 1970’s curtains (complete with a rod to pull them across) to use the bathroom. Otherwise, the multitude of people staying in the HUGE adjacent hotel with giant windows can see EVERYTHING!

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3. Get some strong air freshener that will counteract the smell of oil

The first thing we noticed about the hotel was the smell. It felt like we were in a fish and chip shop, or a poutine factory. Lingering gassy oil smells. They need to be pumping some nice soft air freshener or ventilate the foyer. The room itself was stinking hot, old, outdated but luckily there was no strong smell.

4. The housekeeping staff a refresher course in how to make up a room, and the room needs work

The lampshade was crooked, the bed was poorly made, the walls, bed boxes and hallway carpets were scuffed, rough and ready. It’s the tiniest of things that make a HUGE difference.

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5. Play some soft lounge music in the lobby

This will inject some ambience in an otherwise stiff, silent hotel.

6. Marilyn’s Restaurant: as wonderful as the view is, Marilyn Monroe does not belong in a place like this

It was offensive. A glamorous goddess superstar in a place like this. Yes, the view was magnificent, but the lack of glamour in the hotel didn’t match Marilyn’s image.

 

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7. If you don’t have a view of the Falls, you get a view of the Outback Steakhouse

As much as we love an homage to Australia, we didn’t come to Niagara Falls to get a view of a car park. We understand that not everyone can get a view of the Falls, and the people who do book well in advance (we meet a couple in the elevator who booked a year in advance), so yes the view was a tad disappointing!

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8. The Star Rating is inaccurate

This is between a two-three star hotel. There is no gym, no business centre, and barely any amenities apart from the wonderful view of the Falls, and Marilyn’s restaurant.

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9. There is a jacuzzi from the 1960s in your room that should not be used unless desperate

10. There is no coffee machine in the room

We repeat. THERE IS NO COFFEE MACHINE (OR COFFEE FOR THAT MATTER) IN THE ROOM!

Ok kudos to The Tower Hotel because by not putting a coffee machine in the room, it leaves no choice but for caffeine addicts to buy one in their lobby cafe. Alternatively Starbucks is a quick hike. But come one, even put a machine from the 1970’s it doesn’t matter, to no have a coffee machine, yet to have a fridge and microwave, with barely a supermarket in sight, is almost comical!

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11. Get bigger pillows!

Such a huge bed with such tiny pillows. Are The Tower Hotel in on this joke, or did they accidentally order the wrong size?

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